*cries*

Dec. 14th, 2008 02:06 am
saraste: (FMA)
So, were having people over tomorrow. Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day when I got my baby home. She's going to be pampered, got her delicious kitty food.^^

Anyway. People coming over. And guess who had to clean the apartment? And bake? And who'll need to wash the toilet before anyone comes tomorrow because she was too tired to do it today? Me! \o/ And roomie did not lift a finger while I slaved away. I put around 4 hours of my day into it all and what does she do? Sits in her room reading Deathly Hallows! Dammit! Doesn't she think I'd not rather have done that?! Fuck...

I've been so busy that I've not even had time to read the latest FMA I got. *cries* Which I'm so going to do now since I've got my fics done. I need to know what happens!

(She never cleans anyway until I nag for days so I shouldn't have been surprised. Can't get my own place soon enough. *siiiigh*)

And of course my muffins didn't rise as they should have, the cake actually did come out rather nicely. Should have had time to moisten it tonight so it would have been ready for tomorrow. Will do it first thing in the morning...

saraste: (sparrow)
Blergh...

The party was nice. I'd wanna write fic but I may not be able to type today since I feel slightly nauseous. It wasn't booze, since we didn't have any, but it's the chocolate cake. My lactose intolerant tummy doesn't like it very much right now. Surprising as it went down nicely enough.*pout*

But as said, party was nice, saw a friend again after one and a half years, it was cool. We ate too much and played the 20th anniversary edition Trivial Pursuit. My sis and her bf won. All in all, a nice evening. I should not have indulged in the cake. Blergh...
saraste: (Default)
I just hate y!'s rule 9d it's so damn vague. Argh! I'll have to check how many violations of it I can have until they kick my out temporarily.... 

Squee!!

Sep. 8th, 2007 11:12 pm
saraste: (Default)
I feel so happy! My new Inuyasha story Beatitude has gotten six story alerts over at ff.net. It's nice that people want to be notified of when I update it. Also it's a bit of a pressure since I have barely nothing written as of now.

And also, the lovely [profile] jenerik_brand made banners for [profile] inumir which I'm gonna use tomorrow and try and work out how to add a banner on the journal's layout. But I'll dive into it after FMA.


And I'm gonna go to bed earlier tonight. I am. I need  to get enough sleep since I've started to wake up on my own, without an alarm, at around nine. And if I go to bed around 2 am it isn't a good thing.

Argh, just realized that I promised to write something akin to a draft of a script for tomorrow. Darn. Well I think I can manage... I don't wanna go to bed since my bed-book isn't a novel. I hate reading non-fiction before sleep. But I'm not gonna start a novel just before going to bed. Then I would just dive in and notice I was supposed to go asleep hours before when it's 3 am or something.

But now the ranting shall cease and I'll wrap up the things I went online for and go to bed and indulge in my book which actually isn't that boring. It's about Shakespeare,after all. ;)

Reflections

Sep. 6th, 2007 03:44 pm
saraste: (Default)
I've often glanced at the the mirror  today and found myself wondering, upon seeing my reflection, who is that?

It's the glasses, I swear. But my new lovely hair colour is also a factor in the identity weirdness. I've never been so dark haired before. Well I've seen pics where I'm just under six months old or something with black hair. I looked awfully cute back then.

I think the hair completes my pseudo-goth-second-hand-hippie look. XD I know that that sounds weird... 

And the hair is black now, btw.

Definitions

Sep. 2nd, 2007 12:01 pm
saraste: (fae)
Why does society need definitions?

Why do I need to constantly define myself in the eyes of others. To define myself so as to tell the world 'This is me, this is how I am. I fit neatly into this category and you can reflect all your pre-assumptions on me,'

I'm just tired of that.

I could easily define myself and say that I'm a bit bohemian, bit this and that, artistic, queer. But somehow all of those carry so much with them. *sigh* Why can't I just say that I'm just me ? It would be so easy. I've already suffered too many headaches and heartaches because of definitions, crying and not sleeping. It's a vicious circle I'm afraid of falling back onto.

Damn it. I'd just like to be me and be happy, definitions be damned.
saraste: (ritsu)
Arrgh, I hate this!

I have two family celebrations coming up this weekend, a wedding tomorrow and a confirmation on Sunday, both are my cousins. Otherwise ok but my main discussion topic with my younger cousins, the HP fans is banned since obviously my sister will also be present and she hasn't read DH yet. Maybe we'll huddle in a corner and be real quiet about it, or talk about OotP the movie.

My other argh factor is there's six cousins on my mums side and we all live in the same town. My sis is the oldest at 24, my cousin the bride is turning 23, I'm 22, the bride's sister 20, the sister of the one having her confirmation is 17 and the youngest 15. My sister, the bride and her sister all have boyfriends/soon to be husbands and I just found out yesterday that the bride's sister, my cousin just got engaged. So that leaves me, the only adult in the fold of cousins, aged 22 and still single as a point of keen interest. And apparently, according to what my mum says, me informing them( all the ones asking "who's your boyfriend", "do you have a boyfriend" or similar) that yes, I have fallen in love and yes, it has left my heart bleeding and shattered since she is engaged and will be off to marry the most infuriating Italian there ever was in a few years time. You know, one of these days some relative asks me if I have a boyfriend and I will shout 'I'm a frikking gay, you twat!' on their faces.

That is all. So gald it's not a church wedding too, already have to sit in a church on Sunday for the better part of an hour.

Grr...

sick

Jul. 11th, 2007 11:29 pm
saraste: (ritsu)
I have a cold, in frigging mid-June! Life isn't fair. I hope it passes and I don't have to go to see OotP with my head feeling stuffed... Grr.
Damn country, the premiere's not until friday here. Though had it been today I wouldn't have made it. Will go to bed early today, hope I have no fever.
saraste: (ritsu)

My japanese name is 中村 Nakamura (center of the village) 美晴 Miharu (beautiful clear sky).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

saraste: (sango)
So now it all cleared to me. All the weird digestion and stomach and nausea related problems I've had since I was in high school that I couldn't explain before (well, aside from me thinking it was something more serious than it was, thinking I had a condition or something) have now been cleared up by my mum.

She told me today that gastritis runs in her family.

And she could have told it, like, earlier. I've chalked most of my stomach problems to irregular habits, unexplainable reasons and what not for ages and it was just that?

Somehow I feel that I've been cheated in life. I'm lactose intolerant (no dairy products), I get migraines and now apparently I have gastritis. Why does it have to be all these things which make me feel bad? They all come with nausea which I've begun to hate so much that I've really considered not having children since I don't want the morning sickness. Hey, all I have to do to get sick is eat mozzarella or enough ice cream, or be dumb enough to have chocolate when I have a headache and then I'll spend hours in the bathroom.

But, who really cares? I just felt like ranting. Now it's out. Go about your business.
saraste: (Default)
I'm freaking broke... again. It happens every single month, now it just happened much earlier than usual.  I just hope that I do have some notes on my wallet because the student grant only comes on the 4th and well, now it's the 19th... Crumble... Stupid money, always too little..

OMG!

Apr. 16th, 2007 02:39 am
saraste: (inuyasha)
I've just realized something!

I haven't ever uploaded 'Bound' here! So sorry for exlamating but I'm just so upset! All this time I've thought I have it uploaded here and it seems that I don't. Please rectify me if I'm wrong. I feel rather silly for having ranted over it so much and if I don't have it up here..

Alzilur, dear? Do you remember having read some rather silly KOuga/Inu smut?
saraste: (Default)
I just denied an invitation to a party my sister is throwing in celebration of her boyfriends birthday.

She claimed I was anti-social when I didn't want to stay (I just went there to loan her the jug I'd promised so she could make sangria into it...)
I said to her that the last time I was social it lead bad things. It did, really.

I have a number of reasons I didn't stay:
a) They're serving cheese cake which I really can't stomach since I'm lactose intolerant and would have to eat tablets not to get terrible side-effects..
b) They're going to drink sangria. I don't drink. Being the only one sober = not enjoyable.
c) There'll be many people there. Me and people don't match. I'm chronically shy in RL.
d) This is absolutely quite irrelevant but the last time I was social it eventually led to me cutting a person off my life for the first time in my adult life. It didn't feel completely good but it was necessary.
e) I slept really bad last night and have had 'bad sleep' night for most of the week. Result: I'm cranky, tired and emotional. I cry at the drop of a hat.

I know me being this anti-social is fairly ridiculous but I just can't seem to help it. It's the result of having been bullied at school (which was almost ten years ago but I still hurt), being timid and self-conscious, disliking crowds of people, being the kind of person that I actively restrain myself from getting to be 'normal' and my new found identity that I'm worried will get slashed at bu people who are prejudiced.

And in the end, they're my sister's friends, not mine. I do understand her worry. I've hardly made any new friends at the university and am not sociable at all. But it's my problem not hers.
saraste: (ritsu)
I feel so dumb to be complaining at all but.. I've lost one of my favourite earrings!!!

It was one of a pair my mum bought for me last summer, I only noticed the other dropping and was all.. I don't have an earring in either of my ears! I truly hate one's without locks sometimes. Ah well, the next time I'm in freaking England visiting that one museum along Hadrian's Wall I'll be sure to remember and get a new pair. Well at least I still have the one. But why couldn't it have been one of those one's I bought in Stockholm so I could've gotten a new one?.. *pout*

The manga drawing class was nice, at least.

Yayy!!!

Apr. 3rd, 2007 10:10 am
saraste: (atsushi/masayoshi)
It updated, wheee!!! And Masayoshi almost said I love you to Atsushi!

I'm so happy now.

Wahhh!!!

Apr. 2nd, 2007 10:54 pm
saraste: (ritsu)
I want my next update of

Kusatta Kyounshi no Houteishiki !!!!

I'm in withdrawal. The manga is awesome and I'm so hooked, I'm reading it as a scanlation on [community profile] yaoi_daily and am very, very anxious to read what will Ak-kun say when Masayoshi goes to visit him and tell him that he luuurves him. (At least so I believe.) 

And I can't update my webcomic. Damn you broken comicgenesis!!!!

I want my boylove!

Arfg...

Apr. 2nd, 2007 02:16 am
saraste: (ritsu)
NOte to self... do NOT use laptop while in bed. It don't work especially as one's mattress is too ..not firm enough. Or something. *runs around yelling sumimasen like ritsu would for saying such things..*
saraste: (pen)
Your IQ score is 126

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Facts Curator. This means you are highly intelligent and have picked up an impressive and unique collection of facts and figures over the years. You've got a remarkable vocabulary and exceptional math skills — which puts you in the same class as brainiacs like Bill Gates. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.


This is hilarious since I suck at maths, all I can do to rationalize in my head. But the facts part seems right, I always have my head stock-full of annoying little tidbits of info that aren't sadly relevant to mostly anything..
saraste: (Default)
I now know what I'd ant to do as I grow up.

I said the whole thing jokingly to mys sister but according to what I said I'll become "A professor of English Literature and Fan-research, whose office has selves stock-full of manga and who'll start furious debates where she claims that fanfiction is a real genre of literature. "

I'd have a long way  to reach that but I'm willing to see if I can. And now the decision to change my major and what It'll eventually be will be solid. 
saraste: (Default)
My drive didn't actually slow down much towards the night, I got my presentation done though I feel it's awful. Had trouble emailing it, though, hopefully it went where it should have.

Didn't get any smut done, will do tomorrow, this day was already quite long and.. *gasp* I haven't even read my two chappies of HP yet! Oh noes!

I hate being pre-pms'y, it hinders my activities... That's the biggest reason as to why no smut was typed out, my stomach just cramped too much.

So now I'll just curl up in my chair with my Finnish copy of Chamber (chapters 11 and 12), eat a little something before I get nauseous and then watch the season 3 re-run of Buffy. (first episode of season 3 .. have seen it like so many times, the first was..omg, about 5 to 6 years ago? it's been so long..)

But now.. to my book.

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