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Hmm, how am I right now? I don't know.
My life's in a sort of a mess, and yet it isn't.
I'm more comfy in my skin that I've been for some while and yet I'm starting to get self conscious about it again.. and concerned. This week-end I was visiting home and my mum started to talk about my weight, well I think I brought the thing up but anyways... She pointed out that diabetes runs in our family. It really stopped me, I've been making excuses all this time, saying I'm going to lose weight, some day... I'm not that over-weight, my weight-index is over 35 yet... But I also have to gain 6kg more and it will be. And add to that the fact that my aunt died as a result of having diabetes. Her kidneys gave out. And I've been unhappy about my weight for almost half my life now. It's been too long. But I also counted that if I wanted to be normal weight I should have to lose 22 kg. And that's a lot. Depressing. But so is the fact that when I bought a really nice skirt a while ago I looked at the size and it shocked me how big it was(it wasn't snug but merely well fitting..), I was two sizes smaller in high school which was only three years ago.
Something has to be done.
So I see lots of exercise, a healthy low-fat diet and regular habits with sleeping and stuff. I'm thinking of taking up swimming and going to two sets of different exercises a week. and going on long walks with my mum the weekends I'm home. The walks also serve the purpose of boosting my endurance since we'll be walking a lot on our trip to Germany in May. We always walk miles on those trips, around town, in museums and the like. And I really liked the long walks I used to have with mum when I was still living at home, we did those a lot during that last spring before I moved away. It was a nice way to connect. I don't tell her all about my life but she knows things about me dad doesn't. And she's mum.
And also, studying.
I'm really going to do something about that too. I was calculating my grade average and I have better averages on all my minors than what I have in my major. And my average in my major is just that bit too low for me to be able to change majors without having to go through the process of entrance exams all over again.. Argh! How is it that I now feel like studying when there' s only the latter half of the spring semester left?? Annoying...
Aaand going abroad on the fall. At least I hope so. I'm applying to at least five universities, one in the UK, two in Germany, one in France(Paris!!!*meep*) and maybe two in Italy and it makes actually six... I'm trying g to multiply my chances. I'd be studying literature, maybe writing, english and culture... But I've not yet scanned them through that thoroughly. I have to hurry, the applying stops on the 15th.
But now I need to re-read my translation and send it. Tomorrow I can angst over my 5 page essay which I haven't yet started. Yay!
Haven't forgotten you Alzilur, wait for those fics!
And I have an armchair now!!! My mum bought it. Finally somewhere decent to read. And I visited our new main library on Friday and it was HUGE! And wonderful. They finally managed to find shelf-space for all those books that have been in storage for ages. So many books. Yay!!
My life's in a sort of a mess, and yet it isn't.
I'm more comfy in my skin that I've been for some while and yet I'm starting to get self conscious about it again.. and concerned. This week-end I was visiting home and my mum started to talk about my weight, well I think I brought the thing up but anyways... She pointed out that diabetes runs in our family. It really stopped me, I've been making excuses all this time, saying I'm going to lose weight, some day... I'm not that over-weight, my weight-index is over 35 yet... But I also have to gain 6kg more and it will be. And add to that the fact that my aunt died as a result of having diabetes. Her kidneys gave out. And I've been unhappy about my weight for almost half my life now. It's been too long. But I also counted that if I wanted to be normal weight I should have to lose 22 kg. And that's a lot. Depressing. But so is the fact that when I bought a really nice skirt a while ago I looked at the size and it shocked me how big it was(it wasn't snug but merely well fitting..), I was two sizes smaller in high school which was only three years ago.
Something has to be done.
So I see lots of exercise, a healthy low-fat diet and regular habits with sleeping and stuff. I'm thinking of taking up swimming and going to two sets of different exercises a week. and going on long walks with my mum the weekends I'm home. The walks also serve the purpose of boosting my endurance since we'll be walking a lot on our trip to Germany in May. We always walk miles on those trips, around town, in museums and the like. And I really liked the long walks I used to have with mum when I was still living at home, we did those a lot during that last spring before I moved away. It was a nice way to connect. I don't tell her all about my life but she knows things about me dad doesn't. And she's mum.
And also, studying.
I'm really going to do something about that too. I was calculating my grade average and I have better averages on all my minors than what I have in my major. And my average in my major is just that bit too low for me to be able to change majors without having to go through the process of entrance exams all over again.. Argh! How is it that I now feel like studying when there' s only the latter half of the spring semester left?? Annoying...
Aaand going abroad on the fall. At least I hope so. I'm applying to at least five universities, one in the UK, two in Germany, one in France(Paris!!!*meep*) and maybe two in Italy and it makes actually six... I'm trying g to multiply my chances. I'd be studying literature, maybe writing, english and culture... But I've not yet scanned them through that thoroughly. I have to hurry, the applying stops on the 15th.
But now I need to re-read my translation and send it. Tomorrow I can angst over my 5 page essay which I haven't yet started. Yay!
Haven't forgotten you Alzilur, wait for those fics!
And I have an armchair now!!! My mum bought it. Finally somewhere decent to read. And I visited our new main library on Friday and it was HUGE! And wonderful. They finally managed to find shelf-space for all those books that have been in storage for ages. So many books. Yay!!
