Inuyasha fic : The Pain in My Heart 8

[saraste]

Fandom: Inuyasha
Pairing: Miroku/Inuyasha
Warnings: Mega-angst, dark fic, mentions of rape, facial disfigurement
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just like to torture them to no profit except for nice comments.

Inuyasha woke with a start. That nightmare had once again haunted his dreams. He felt strong arms around himself, it comforted him to feel the monk there. Inuyasha felt safe, was safe, but it still took time to shake the images from his head. Flashes of a taunting smile, his sobbed pleas when the pain assaulted him...

'Such cruelty', Inuyasha mused, 'that the things I see in my dreams are what I don't want to see.'

The hanyou raised a hand to his bandages, his claws ripping the fabric. Heated tears flowed from beneath the already stained bandages. Sobbing quietly, he felt around him, touching the hands enveloped around his torso. He snuggled against the warmth, the safety.

Inuyasha raised a hand, tentatively, and lay it over his lovers face. Through touch he tried to remember, tried to clear that clouded image in his mind to reflect the face of his love. But he couldn't. The loss of his sight and the trauma of his assault had etched that, what he'd never hoped to remember so vividly, deep into his mind, locking all else away. It was like a heavy mist hanging over everything else.

His silent sobs finally woke Miroku up.

The monk ran a soothing hand over Inuyasha's back, hugging him comfortingly. Miroku kissed the top of Inuyasha's head like that of a distressed child. Which he in some way was.

“Shh... What is it, Inuyasha?”, he asked soothingly, his lover's tears upsetting him. But they did not surprise him, considering how the hanyou had been broken, body and mind, by Naraku.

Inuyasha laid his gentle fingers on Miroku's face, memorizing, touching, feeling him there.

“I can't see you”, he said brokenly. “Naraku said that I wouldn't and he was right. I can't see you, not even in my mind. It... every thing's blocked and I can't get to it. I'm...”

Miroku cut him off with a kiss, holding him tight. “Don't say that! Don't you ever say that.”, he continued with a gentler, hushed tone. For it was clear that the hanyou would've once again turned to words of self-loathing, of disgust. Inuyasha smiled, those thoughts driven from his mind, at least for now. He let Miroku hold onto him, let himself be cared for.

* * * *

It was good that Inuyasha had let Miroku into his heart because he soon needed all the support and love he could get. For two days after, the hanyou fell gravely ill. It seemed he had not been as healthy as they'd hoped. Naraku's poison seemed to have lingered, coming back with a vengeance at the most inopportune moment.

Miroku sat beside him, dabbing his feverish brow with a wet cloth. A fumbling hand sought out his, the weak gesture full of despair. The hanyo was so tired, his body already so worn, having just started recovering from the last remains of the attack. Now he was wrecked with feverish fits and bouts of nausea and he shook even under the copious blankets over his body.

“Hush..” Miroku whispered, raising a cup of herbal broth to his beloveds lips, urging him to drink. Soon th hanyou drifted off to a dreamless slumber. Miroku spied old Kaede on the door of the hut, cast a glance to his lover's sleeping form and hurried to her noiselessly.

“What more can we do? His body won't endure this long.. He's too weak.”

The old miko nodded sadly. This was all just because the hanyo had almost given up, refusing nourishment and withdrawing onto himself before Miroku had managed to break through his self-destructive behavior. Too little too late was her thought. Now they could just anxiously wait for Kagome and Sango to return, so that Kagome might fetch whatever medicine her time had to help him. For Kaede could not. The fever would pass but Inuyasha might not have enough time to wait for it.. nor had he the strength for it.

So they waited and watched as by every passing hour, Inuyasha grew weaker and weaker.

His body seemed to try and get rid of the poison by bleeding it out through his scars. It weakened him still, leaving him a shallow shell of his former self, veering between love and death.

* * * *

On the fourth day, Kagome and Sango arrived back at the village, chatting amiably, glad of their success at retrieving a new Shard. They stopped on their tracks as Miroku rushed out of Kaede's hut, having informed by a villager of their arrival. The haunted look on the monk's face, his haggard appearance, they took all that in and rushed straight to him, worry tugging at their hearts.

“What is it?” Kagome asked, breath uneven and shaky.

“It's Inuyasha..”

Kagome almost didn't want to hear, for the sorrow in Miroku's voice was something she didn't want to have to hear. Surely Inuyasha wasn't?..

“What is it?” She felt silly and impatient at having to repeat herself, but the monk seemed dazed, not really thinking about them, the way he kept glancing back at the hut. She saw him shake his head, as if to clear his thoughts. Then he spoke, urgent and with a level voice.

“Inuyasha's ill, he's got a fever. It's the poison, it wasn't all out. I need you to go back to your time, bring some medicine for it, anything Kaede has hasn't helped. Please...”

Kagome's eyes widened and she nodded. In the future, there were many kinds of medicines to help get a fever down. She then started to rummage through her pack for some painkillers which she knew would help get the fever down some. She handed them to Miroku.

“Take these, only two tablets at a time, no more. They should help a little. I'll go back and get something more efficient!”

“Take Kirara!” Sango offered beside her, waving the fire neko to come to them. “She'll get you there in no time.”

“Inuyasha, I need to see him!”

Kagome rushed inside the hut, the monk on her heels, and knelt beside Inuyasha's inanimate form as she reached him. She took one look at his pale face, coloured only by the bright red spots on his cheek, telltale signs of the fever burning him up. Kagome snatched the pills from Miroku's hand, he had already sat down and was holding one of Inuyasha's hands in his own, and popped two pills out of the package.

“Water...”, she whispered frantically, being helped by Kaede, who offered a cup of the liquid to her.

Kagome bent down next to the lovers, facing Miroku. She gently lifted Inuyasha's neck, mixing the pills into the water and making him drink, the hanyou swallowed by instinct, by luck not even choking on the liquid.

Kagome laid a reassuring hand on Miroku's, making him look up. She tried to smile reassuringly.

“I'll be right back, I hope these help.” And she pressed the package of pills to his other hand and exited the hut.

Miroku squeezed Inuyasha's hand. He hoped it would be enough. He hoped Kagome's medicines would help. He hoped Inuyasha would live.

For hope was all he had. His love alone wouldn't save Inuyasha's life.

 

Comments

[alzilur.livejournal.com]

*whimpers*

[saraste-impi.livejournal.com]

*pats Alzilur*
Don't worry dear, I'll let nothing happen to him. Though there was one person back at y! who commented that if I did kill him I could just have Sesshy drop by with Tenseiga and revive him... and have them have a sweaty threesome. But I won't, not in this fic anyway... *evil grin*